


death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal

by Tobi_Black



Series: If at first you don't succeed, try again [6]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Echoes of a Past Life reasserting themselves, Emotionally Constipated Ishida men, Gen, Ichigo and Uryuu's relationship in twenty years is Ryuuken and Isshin, Kurosaki Ichigo is Shiba Kaien, Kurosaki Ichigo-centric, Quincy!Ichigo, RIP Kon, Reincarnation, Rukia has lots of Fight-Me! Energy, Shinigami Society, Shinigami/Zanpakutou Bond, Soul Memories, Urahara Kisuke is a Dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-22 11:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 15,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21301493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobi_Black/pseuds/Tobi_Black
Summary: It had been six years, but the loss had lost none of its sting, for June Sixteenth was the day that the center of their universe had been stolen.June Sixteenth was the day that Masaki Kurosaki had died.
Relationships: Arisawa Tatsuki & Kurosaki Ichigo, Arisawa Tatsuki & Kurosaki Isshin, Hanakari Jinta & Tsumugiya Ururu & Urahara Kisuke, Hollow Ichigo & Kurosaki Ichigo & Zangetsu, Ishida Ryuuken & Kurosaki Isshin, Kon & Arisawa Tatsuki, Kon & Kurosaki Ichigo, Kon & Kurosaki Isshin, Kon & Kurosaki Karin, Kon & Kurosaki Yuzu, Kuchiki Rukia & Kurosaki Ichigo, Kurosaki Ichigo & Kurosaki Isshin, Kurosaki Ichigo & Kurosaki Isshin & Kurosaki Karin & Kurosaki Yuzu, Kurosaki Ichigo & Kurosaki Karin & Kurosaki Yuzu, Kurosaki Ichigo & Kurosaki Masaki, Kurosaki Ichigo & Shiba Kaien, Kurosaki Ichigo & Shihouin Yoruichi, Kurosaki Isshin/Kurosaki Masaki, Kurosaki Masaki & Kurosaki Yuzu & Kurosaki Karin, Kurosaki Yuzu & Shihouin Yoruichi, Nejibana & Shiba Kaien, Shihoin Yoruichi & Kuchiki Rukia, Shihouin Yoruichi & Tsukabishi Tessai & Urahara Kisuke
Series: If at first you don't succeed, try again [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1337611
Comments: 178
Kudos: 237





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can thank the start of NaNoWriMo for me getting past the block of how actually to write the Grand Fisher's appearance with all the changes I've made.
> 
> I wanted to start posting this on Halloween because THEMES but I wasn't sure how much farther I had left and I'm terrible at remembering to post chapters after a few days as I get distracted writing further along. So belated Happy Halloween!!
> 
> THE GRAND FISHER ARC!!!

Kon – the Mod Soul had decided on Kon as in _perseverance, persistence_ for a name, even if Rukia had written it out as _spirit_ for him – couldn’t decide what he wanted for a make-shift body.

It was unanimously decided that – beside Ichigo, who now aware, was tentatively willing to let the Mod Soul take over when _needed_, and perhaps on unneeded occasions as well, negotiations pending because Ichigo was _somewhat _okay with the _idea_, but was still too unsettled by the idea in practice for it to happen – the Mod Soul wouldn’t be put in a living thing.

For a while there, as Kon fluctuated between canines and felines as the ‘ferocious animal’ his stuffed body would be, after spending a few days bouncing between fish and a bear, Ichigo and Rukia had looked around for a freshly dead animal. With the talking cat – name pending; Yuzu refused to name the ‘King of Cats’ and referred to him as His Majesty, Goat Face just wailed into his mother’s poster whenever the ‘devil cat’ was brought up, and Karin was resolutely keeping it as Cat while ignoring the _talking_ part – _around_ – he mostly hung around for food and cuddles with Yuzu, sleeping on kitchen cabinets and atop dressers before disappearing once they left for school and coming back by dinner – they thought it would be easy to just keep him around as a pet cat, one less free-roaming than the one they’d half-adopted half-been-adopted-by.

Only, there was actually a lot less ran over animals in Karakura than one would think.

The ones that were – they weren’t candidates for Kon.

The Animal Shelter down the street did occasionally put down cats, but only when necessary.

It had become a no-kill shelter when Yuzu, age six, had found out it would put down any strays after a couple of months, and proceeded to both cry and be a hassle until she got it past city council to _make_ it be a no-kill. Yuzu now made regular weekly visits on the way home from school to visit all the strays that were currently being slowly adopted out, and the staff loved her – and feared her a little bit. Karin had once woken him up in the middle of the night about a week later after it became a no-kill shelter, bags under her wide eyes, as she’d had a bit of an existential crisis over how if Yuzu ever wanted to, she could probably take over a small country with her smiles and tears.

Regardless, the Shelter was a bit of a no-go anyway.

Yuzu knew _all_ of the animals there. With little prodding she could tell you about any of the thirty-four cats, seventeen dogs, five birds, and thirteen fish that she either knew through the Shelter or because of her animal-sitting.

It was actually why they’d been more seriously considering some sort of stuffed animal for Kon than any other option.

They’d tested whether it would even _work,_ with a stuffed lion they’d found on the side of the road, because Karin was a vicious guard dog about the few stuffed animals in the room she shared with Yuzu and they couldn’t borrow one of _them_.

Even if Rukia, after apologizing for not taking his complaints about the gikongan seriously when his reasons for not liking the idea were _valid_, had volunteered to be the one to do the actual breaking-and-entering and theft from the shelter before he’d pointed out why the idea wouldn’t work practically.

_Eventually_, Kon settled on a lion, and he’d modelled it after the one that he’d given to Karin, with some modifications. It had coal black buttons for eyes, black felted wool for a nose, firework red silk scraps for the inside of the mouth and ears, satin paws with felt claws, and golden corduroy fur, with a mane made of golden fleece.

Very careful stitching managed to get a dark blue elongated spiral down Kon’s spine and cross on his front paws. Under one arm was a discreet little zipper opening up into a silk pouch surrounded by stuffing, for whatever Kon wanted to carry around.

Currently inside was two pieces of paper: a map of Karakura, with the Clinic and High School marked; and a, _if found, return Kon to_, with the Clinic’s address listed, and his name and number put down.


	2. Chapter 2

Considering why Kon had been found, he had to go everywhere Ichigo went in case of a hollow.

If anyone asked about _why_ he was carrying around a stuffed animal, it being for Yuzu was the perfect excuse. Tatsuki was even willing to back it up, even if she didn’t know what to think about Kon and didn’t much like the idea of a repeat performance of Kon inhabiting his body for a bit.

Kon didn’t know how to feel about her either. He didn’t come out when she was around though, for one reason or another, and considering how they met, Ichigo would take avoidance over outright fear.

Very quickly, it was obvious that Kon needed some sort of entertainment if he went everywhere with him. Hanging around in his pocket, then his bag, listening to class wasn’t a very good option when Kon didn’t understand a lot of what was being talked about.

So, he dug out his Gameboy and a few games with a pair of headphones for Kon to play with, as a stopgap measure.

Then he recorded himself going over previous years’ work for Kon to listen on the tapes, and learn what he knew, so the Mod Soul could better pretend to be him during class when they switched places for the rest of a class period, instead of just outright being absent.

It was tedious as all hell, recording seven or so years to properly teach him math, history, and English, to start.

(On a bonus note though, it was great review and his scores had climbed a little bit, consistently getting _a point_, no matter what, above Ishida’s. It was deeply satisfying to watch the other teen fume, adjusting his glasses so they’d flash at him in challenge whenever they’d get homework or tests back.)

It almost made up for he _deeply_ regretted showing Kon how to work a DVD player.

He had to sit through Kon picking one of his father’s movies and at least look like he was watching it as he sat on the couch with Kon propped up on his pillow next to him as he worked on homework.

They watched the _Godfather,_ _Willow_, _Lord of the Rings_, _Lethal Weapon_, _Braveheart_, and _Fifth Element_, at least six times each. Kon liked to _quote_ them, acting them out after dinner in their room to the amusement of Rukia and the Devil Cat.

(And the cat had _earned_ that moniker from _him_ by bouncing off the walls at three in the morning then flinging himself at _his face_, and while he was used to Goat Face’s attacks while asleep, it was another thing _to have a cat fling itself at your face_.

Kon had had to tend to the scratches on his cheek because moments later Rukia’s pager had gone off and off _he’d_ gone to take care of it.

Tatsuki had just laughed when he’d told her about it later, showing up for class with a plaster on his forehead and chin. She’d snickered while commenting about how _hadn’t his sister always had one around?_)

(_Kukaku . ._)

He was saving Yuzu’s Ghilbi movies for later, when he needed something new to listen to.


	3. Rukia

Rukia had gotten Ichigo and Jumping Jack home before she’d tried to visit Urahara again, to get the pager fixed and have that on-the-house check-up, but Tessai had told her that the other man had decided to turn their preparations to capture Jumping Jack into an impromptu field trip for Jinta and Ururu when another hollow had come through shortly after they’d left. While Tessai had returned to the shop to man it.

Apparently, all those times the pager had _also_ not gone off, Urahara had been having bonding moments with the two kids by cleansing hollows.

She’d thought about lingering but after an hour and he didn’t come back, she’d left.

The next time the shop was closed, a messily scrawled note was on the door: _will be back in a few days~_

Accompanied by an actual note from Tessai: _Kuchiki-san, Kisuke was offended at the idea that Jinta and Ururu have never been to the beach and insisted on correcting this right away. We left Sunday._

It had been Saturday.

When she came around next, Urahara was star-fished face-down on the floor in the middle of the shop, half dressed and fluctuating between green and grey, wincing at any light.

She turned right back around.

Tessai later told her that Urahara was just massively hung-over from a visit from an old friend that had left them four bottles of his special paint-stripping sake, less.

The fourth time, Tessai had pinched his nose and sighed, “One day, I swear . .” He had then proceeded to fix her pager free of charge, and look her over, beginning to frown heavily.

“As I thought, there is a soul wound. Your _saketsu_ and _hakusui_ were damaged somehow. It perhaps wouldn’t have been a problem if you hadn’t lost so much reiatsu, because despite popular belief, damaging one or both _does_ happen, usually when trying to transfer reiatsu to another outside of the techniques Unohana-taichou has developed. The soul will typically heal these wounds on its own, after a time, even if they don’t get looked at by a professional. Your problem is not that the damage is too severe, but that you lost too much in the transfer and you’ve been using what little you had left. You essentially turned a crack in your soul into a hole for your reiatsu to no longer drip but pour free from.”

He turned away for a moment, wrote a note that he then put in an apron pocket, “Healing wounds like this aren’t my expertise, but I have friends who may know a way to deal with this before nothing can be down.”

Tessai caught her eye, gaze serious.

“If left alone, you have about a month before _something_ will need to be done _before_ your soul binds to your gigai completely. You’ll no longer be a shinigami but effectively human in a body that won’t age until it starts to break down from wear and tear, that can’t heal itself well, and whose destruction could release you back into the cycle or result in you becoming a _jibakurei_. However, I’d recommend you use as little reiatsu as possible, as right now, you’re leaking considerably more reiatsu than that gigai can help replenish. If you must fight a hollow, you will need to get back here _immediately_ so I can stabilize your soul and at least _try_ to prevent the binding.”

Her eyes went wide, because she’d _known_ it was getting serious, but nothing like _this_.

“Otherwise, I will contact you when I think I have a more viable option then essentially bandaging this and literally watching your reiatsu soak through it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tessai: She knows something's up with the gigai, Kisuke. Did you seriously think you can hide your magic rock-  
Kisuke: It's not a magic rock!  
Tessai: . . .  
Tessai: Do you have a plan to explain her leaking reiatsu?  
Kisuke: . . .  
Tessai: Kisuke, stop avoiding-  
Kisuke: *hides in his lab*  
Tessai: Kisuke!  
Tessai: *sigh*  
Tessai: I'll take care of it.  
Kisuke: Tessai is the best!!~


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey!! Wake up, Ichigo!! It’s morning!! Morning! You hear!?”

Ichigo blinked awake to the sight of Kon sitting on his chest, one paw in his face.

He just stared at him for a moment, before his eyes swept the room to make sure that the Devil Cat wasn’t there. The little monster always looked unholily amused whenever he saw him talking to ‘a stuffed animal’, making _kukukukuku_ laughter at the sight.

Luckily, the Devil Cat seemed to be downstairs, probably asking Yuzu for more food.

(_Yoruichi’s always been a bit of a glutton._)

“If you don’t get out of bed, I’ll-”

He pinched Kon by an ear, “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” – then lifted him up – “Hey! L-lemme go!!” Before he threw him towards the closet, “I heard you!”

Considering how quickly his family had adapted to a talking cat, he wasn’t terribly worried about them seeing Kon not acting like a normal stuffed animal.

Goat Face had even picked up Kon, who had luckily been _actually acting like a stuffed animal_, seen the swirl, and beamed. He’d then proceeded to be quite proud to sprout out at any and every available opportunity he had _four_ wonderful children, that probably would have been remarked on more, except Karin had long ago learned to tune this topic out and Yuzu, as always, was masterfully unfazed.

Karin had seen Kon next to him on the couch watching a movie he’d long been indifferent to, and blinked, looked at him flatly, then pretended that she’d seen nothing. She’d throw Kon at him if the Mod Soul got somewhere without him and she saw, but like the Devil Cat and ghosts, then went on with her life like there was nothing strange going on here.

Yuzu, on the other hand, he thought _knew_ Kon talked, and didn’t blink twice.

(He could swear she was sewing up a little waterproof dark green cloak with a leaf pin for Kon, at the Mod Soul’s request.)

Sometimes, he really wondered how they’d all gotten so used to, in their own ways, to this level of ridiculousness so much that a talking cat and a talking toy didn’t warrant a more extreme reaction than what they’d gotten.

And it went beyond his family; his class both did and did not remember meeting Kon, but were unfazed regardless, all under the impression that he’d gotten possessed by a spirit, and they couldn’t be shaken from the idea. Keigo was the worst about it, handing over a dozen recommendations a day for ‘his problem’.

_Supposedly_, Mr. Hat-and-Clogs – Tatsuki had listened to his description and not hesitated a second at _yeah, not surprised he’s some sort of black market dealer_ before saying he was the owner of the shop Orihime was chomping at the bit to visit again, and that his name was Urahara Kisuke but he was fairly certain they weren’t supposed to know his name – had erased their memory, but what it had been replaced with, was pretty much what happened, if in less detail.

Rukia had looked at him once they’d realized that, and asked why their minds went straight to body possession when he was involved, as the most logical explanation for what had happened then in the classroom.

He’d responded by banging his head against his desk. Repeatedly.

“Ow! I told you to be gentle with me!! I’m a delicate flowe-!”

Rukia came out of closet, stepping directly atop Kon, “Are you trying to wake the neighbors?! Can’t a shinigami get dressed in peace?!”

“Goat Face has lived here for nearly twenty years, and has been _himself_ for all that time. This is nothing. I’m pretty sure they just roll over and go back to sleep when he goes screaming out the window in the mornings.” He glanced down at Kon, mildly concerned about how his stitching would hold up to this sort of abuse, but in seeing that the stuffed lion looked no worse for wear, he tracked the Mod Soul’s gaze.

There was no sympathy as he gestured for Rukia to look down.

“You’re okay. Stand right there-!!! _OW OW OW OW!! STOP!_ My stuffing’s going to come out!!”

Ichigo turned on his heel, muttering, “Morons.”

“ICHIGO!!”

He jumped at Yuzu’s voice followed by her running up the stairs, shooing Rukia and Kon into the closet, “Can I come in?”

“Um, Sure.”

The bedroom door popped open as he noticed that Rukia’s skirt had gotten caught in the door and he rushed to stand in front of it, “Ichigo . . What are you doing?”

“N-nothing! Nothing suspicious!! What do you want, Yuzu!? It’s early!!”

Unlike Karin, who would have at least given him a flat look like _yeah, I call bullshit but I don’t care enough to find out what you’re hiding_, Yuzu chose to ignore his very suspicious behavior and moved on, “It’s not _that_ early. Mizuiro’s waiting for you!”

“Mizuiro? What time is it?”

Mizuiro was going to swing by 8:30-

“Shit!” It was already almost ten minutes past then.

“Yeah, so hurry and get ready. And apologize from Dad’s bedroom window. You’re already making him wait.” She rested one hand on her hip, and made to leave his room, “Mizuiro likes tempura, right? We should still have leftovers from yesterday that he can take for lunch.”

He changed shirts on the way to the room to the right, before opening the window and leaning out to speak with the figure he could see on the street, “Mizuiro! Sorry! I just woke up! Come in for a minute, okay?”

His friend just smiled, “Sure.”

He pulled on his pants, and was pulling on the button-up when it occurred to him that _he’d slept in_. He almost never slept in through no choice of his own.

“Why didn’t Goat Face bust in here like he usually does-?” In checking to see what time it was, he’d seen the date and it clicked like a thunderclap.

June Sixteenth.

(**Six years tomorrow.**)

“Ichigo?” Rukia was looking back at him with concern, paused halfway out the window, one foot on the sill.

“Nothing. I just didn’t realize it’d been another year, so quickly.”


	5. Rukia

Rukia had been waiting in the classroom for Ichigo, going over the English study book in the meanwhile, when Mizuiro had come in first, without Ichigo.

She put down her book, intending to go after him, because she was a bit concerned. He’d said it was nothing, whatever anniversary he was talking about, but it was clearly _something_. It wasn’t her business, and she didn’t intend to pry, but if he ditched, she was going after him and going to get some _answers_.

He couldn’t be distracted by some human occasion when he was the only shinigami in Karakura.

Urahara didn’t really count, even if he’d been covering for them so far when her pager didn’t go off. This was _their_ job; it would be dereliction of duty to not do it.

The classroom door slid open.

“Ichigo!”

He paused in the doorway at Orihime’s greeting, then _smiled_.

“Hi! How’s it going, Orihime?”

Orihime just blinked at him as he moved further in the classroom, and when she didn’t respond, Tatsuki lifted her head from where she’d been reviewing something.

Rukia hadn’t seen him smile like that _once_ in the last month and a half, and if she hadn’t been worried before, she was now.

“What’s he on?! Ichigo’s being _friendly_?”

She wasn’t the only one to be vaguely unnerved by the change in behavior either.

“What’s the matter with Ichigo?” Orihime watched as Ichigo walked over to where Mizuiro and Keigo were.

“Huh? What do you mean? I’ve never seen him smile like that.”

Tatsuki stood, “Michiru . . what’s the date today?”

“Um, June Sixteenth. Why?”

Rukia didn’t bother hiding how she was listening in when Tatsuki looked directly at her, making it clear that she _should be_, “Thanks. Orihime, you’re very perceptive. It took me two years to pick up on that. If you have any urgent business with him, take care of it today. Ichigo won’t be at school tomorrow.”

Tatsuki left them to go over to Ichigo, punching him on the arm to get his attention, then asking something quietly with shadowed eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Even as he put the sign up, Ichigo figured that most of the people who typically came to their clinic were already aware that they’d be closed. Some of the people that had dropped by today hadn’t needed anything, and just came by to offer condolences.

After six years, none of them offered food – Yuzu had smiled as she’d thanked the few who’d offered the year after, but it had been sharp, and cold, and it had been clear she hadn’t appreciated anyone stepping in on her turf, and no one had tried since – but as always, there was an envelope with no name left on their doorstep that Isshin picked up, tucking inside his pocket and saying it was from their mother’s cousin.

Karin had used to ask, in various tones depending on which year this was, why they didn’t come by in person. She claimed to not care anymore about a coward who couldn’t show their face, but still eyed the thick envelope like if Goat Face left it _anywhere_, she’d pop it open in a second.

Goat Face always said that the man was expressing his regrets for not being there with them on this day, but couldn’t get the day off from work or didn’t want to intrude on their private grief or- the specifics varied from year to year.

Ichigo thought it might be that the man didn’t want to show them his own grief, otherwise he would have just _not_ left a letter one year.

Goat Face had once even admitted that the cousin wasn’t even very _close_, blood-wise, but their mother had had so little family left that even a distant relation she’d refused to let go off if they let her in. The twins wouldn’t remember; they’d been too young at the time, but he thought he remembered the white-haired man with rectangular glasses that his mother had called cousin visiting sometimes.

(He’d looked more than a little bit like Ishida.

. . He’d have to ask the prickly teenager the next time he saw him if that was just a coincidence.)

“Okay! Let’s have a meeting and go over everybody’s job for tomorrow!! And remember! As chairman, I hold all the decision-making power!!”

Ichigo sat down as Karin slammed her hands on their table, automatically stabilizing the poor thing when it rocked with Yuzu’s hands full of the Devil Cat, “As if! What kind of meeting is this!?”

Goat Face dramatically flung his hand out and ruffled the god-awful peach pink _shirt_ that he was wearing in the process, “Raise your hand if you wish to speak, Chief of Staff!!”

Yuzu sighed as she pet the cat, making him purr like a motorboat, when her twin just looked pleased despite herself at the title, “Chief of Staff?”

“Yuzu, you’ll be in charge of lunch, as usual.”

The cat was melted into a boneless puddle in his sister’s lap, “Okay. Mom’s favorites good?”

Goat Face nearly brained himself as he tripped over a chair throwing himself at their mother’s poster, “Masaki! Your darling daughter remembers your favorites!!”

(**_How isn’t he dead?_**

_No one knows._)

None of them rescued him, even as Yuzu reached over and pulled out a pair of tissues for his bloody nose when he peeled himself off the wall, “Thank you Yuzu!!”

Karin rolled her eyes at their father, “Karin, you’ll load the packs.”

“Huh!?”

Isshin continued on, looking at the Devil Cat, his voice losing the assertiveness his posture still had, “I hope you’ll stay with the girls the whole day tomorrow?”

“No problem, Goat Face.”

Despair flashed across his face at the Devil Cat’s response, but considering how often that happened when the Devil Cat was in his vicinity, there wasn’t an ounce of sympathy from his children. He threw himself back at his deceased wife’s photo, “Our children are so cruel!!”

Ichigo leaned across the table, “I’ll help you load packs, Karin, if you get him back on task.”

Karin grinned sharply – he ignored the distorted cooing in the back of his head that caused, **_Go and be vicious, Princess!_** – before she was kicking Goat Face in the side of the thigh, and while he curled up around it, dragged him back to the table by his other leg.

After a moment he straightened, muttering something that none of them quite caught. Then he was pointing at where Kon was sitting in Ichigo’s bag, “Kon! As this will be your first visit! Do nothing other than continue to be adorable!”

Luckily, Kon chose to act like a normal stuffed animal and didn’t react to the finger in his face.

No one else blinked at the sight, though Karin rolled her eyes at it, “Someday, someone’s going to accuse you of _actually_ being insane, and we’re going to have no defense. Talking to toys, jeez.”

Goat Face threw himself at her, “You _do_ love me!!”

“Hey! Get off!!” – she struggled against where he picked her up and span her around, and around – “I love you too!!”

Once she was properly dizzy, he put her back down in her chair, “And as the final order of business tonight! I got a haircut for the occasion! How do I look?”

Ichigo just smiled at his family as Karin gathered herself enough to yell back, “EXACTLY THE SAME!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Isshin mutters something along the lines of: I hope I never see her meeting Kukaku, they'd get along like a house on fire


	7. Chapter 7

Ichigo saw the twins to bed, almost joining them in a cuddle pile like he’d done in years previous, but Rukia was waiting in his room, and he needed to talk to her about tomorrow. It wouldn’t be fair to her if he just _left_ her behind tomorrow without a word.

Kon wiggled out of his bag, giving him a serious look like _I’ll watch over them tonight_, somehow, before he jumped up into the bed, and Yuzu pulled him in without pause, while Karin eyed the stuffed animal for a moment, but settled quickly after.

“That looked . . fun.”

She shifted uncomfortably in front of his closet when he looked at her, “What?”

“The family meeting. So . . you’re skipping school tomorrow?”

He rather thought she didn’t know to quite to make of the whole thing, and abruptly, he wondered how the dead celebrated deaths. They grieved, but what about after?

“Yeah. About my shinigami duties, could I take tomorrow off too?”

For a moment, she looked like she would protest, refuse, before a quiet, “Why?” escaped her lips.

(_Did you grieve for me? For how long, before you were told to move on?_)

“It’s the anniversary of the day my mother died.”

Her eyes went wide, “No . . actually, not the day she died . . the day she was _killed._”

He watched those wide eyes shadow, but he couldn’t read what was in them.

“Did she die alone?”

(_Don’t die alone and your heart will live on._)

“I don’t really remember.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #how do the dead grieve death beyond their own?
> 
> The examples we have are Ukitake/Squad 13 and Byakuya, but are they outliers or the norm??


	8. Rukia

After Ichigo turned in for the night, turning away towards the window, staring up at a cloaked moon as rain began to fall, Rukia was left awake.

Ichigo’s words left her unable to sleep.

_The anniversary of the day my mother was killed._

She’d noted the absence of his mother; it was hard not to, when the others were so lively and there was a giant poster of the woman right in the heart of their home. But shinigami didn’t grieve like this. They had to move on with the knowledge those lost souls would reincarnate and maybe one day they’d meet again if they lived long enough, even if they never were what they’d been.

They were supposed to anyway.

She should have known better; how long had her squad been grieving Shiba-fukutaichou and Shiba-sama? Sixty years. Sixty years and Ukitake-taichou refused to consider another lieutenant just as much as their squad refused to accept one. Shiba-sama’s position had only reluctantly been filled in the last thirty years out of sheer necessity; they had needed another high-ranking shinigami to help with their taichou’s paperwork considering he’d been doing double without a lieutenant to help.

Sixty years she’d given the remaining Shiba a wide berth because of her own guilt and grief.

Sixty years and it was only now, having met Shiba-fukutaichou’s reincarnation, was she letting go of some of her grief.

How much worse was it for a mortal, whose grief was tempered in years and not decades and centuries.

And his mother hadn’t just died – she’d been _killed_.

_Did she die alone? I don’t really remember._

She’d wanted to ask how he couldn’t remember. She remembered every moment of that day sixty years ago. Ukitake-taichou had confessed to the same.

But she couldn’t.

It would be cruel. And unnecessary.

Even if she _had_ died alone, _if_ she had, her heart lived on. Her family made sure of that, and she hoped he took comfort in that.


	9. Chapter 9

“Ugh! This hill is hard!”

Yuzu was holding Kon, with the Devil Cat at her side, and Karin next to her, “Hmph, not for me.”

Ichigo was lagging a bit, a step or so behind Goat Face, just watching them.

His thoughts weren’t really on them though. It’d bothered him before, not really remembering what had happened that day six years ago. Right after, he’d remembered most of it, and that- hadn’t been enough, but it was _something_. He’d _known_ what had happened; he didn’t need to remember every detail. What he’d remembered had been _more_ than enough.

Only, the fact that he’d never found his mother’s soul had remained. Even if he didn’t remember _everything_, he should have still known what had happened to her soul. Or found it in any of that time he’d searched that riverbank.

He’d known, but not known, of hollows then, so he’d accepted why he hadn’t been able to find her soul as not being _unusual_. Meeting Rukia (again), _learning_ of hollows, he’d accepted her missing soul more. Very unhappily.

(There were now two hollows that if he _ever_ came across again, he wouldn’t hesitate to go after. To _kill_.)

Only- Rukia had asked _did she die alone_ and he _didn’t know_.

He remembered the hollow showing up, and he remembered her body covering his, her blood on him and a roar in his ears, a woman’s scream.

Everything in between was _gone_. And he hadn’t noticed in six years until directly asked.

_Did she die alone?_

He didn’t _remember_-

“C’mon Yuzu! You can do it! Let Daddy show you how!!”

Ichigo watched Goat Face flipped forward smoothly on his hands, “Look! I’ll walk the rest of the way on my hands!”

Yuzu glanced back but Karin just kept walking, “Do not make eye contact. Attention will only encourage him.”

“Not true.” The Devil Cat started laughing at the glint in his father’s eyes, “I don’t need attention, I’m self-motivated!!”

Then off he went, running faster on his hands than Ichigo had seen some people run on their feet, making Karin reach down, pick up the Devil Cat, toting him under one arm as she grabbed Yuzu’s hand, then book it, “RUN!”

For a moment, Ichigo just wanted to know what his mother had seen in Goat Face that had make her think _yes, that’s the one for me_.

(_No, really, what did she see in him? We were betting that he’d be alone for another few centuries at the least, until he mellowed out a bit more._)

Just a moment, because Isshin slipped, and skidded forward, “WHOA! Daddy slipped!!” He slid past Yuzu, blowing up her dress some, “Polka dots!!?”

“Vanish! To the ends of the earth!!” Yuzu dropped Kon on his face trying to push her shirt back down, just before Karin turned on her heel, and delivered a solid kick to her father’s jaw.

“Sandal kick!!!” – he flew back, tumbling down the hill – “Wipeout!!” – past Ichigo, who saved Kon before he was swept along for the ride – “Due to Daddy’s wipeout, there will be volatility in the Tokyo Stock Market!”

He just kept going, rolling down the hill at speed.

“Go back to listed stocks!”

Karin turned away after yelling that after him, letting the Devil Cat down to grab Yuzu’s hand again, and continued up the hill like nothing had just happened.

The Devil Cat sat down to watch as Isshin didn’t slow the least bit down even once down the hill, laughing the entire time at the sight.


	10. Chapter 10

Ichigo handed Kon back to Yuzu as he caught up, with the Devil Cat following after a moment, still snickering.

He held a hand up to shield his eyes as he looked back behind them, looking for Tatsuki. She’d wanted to be here with them again this year, to pay her respects to his mother, but was going to swing by the school beforehand to pick up whatever they’d be missing in class from the teachers. Past experience said that she’d likely meet up with them atop the hill, or not long after they got to her grave.

“Geez, it’s only June but it’s already scorching.” Karin took off her hat briefly to brush back the strands of hair sticking to her face in the humid heat.

“Yeah . . Another June Seventeenth, but so different from that one.”

That one, the rain hadn’t stopped coming down for hours, had rained off-and-on for _days_. For that whole week before Tatsuki had dragged him away from the riverbank as he’d searched for her spirit.

“Hey . . another visitor. I wonder if she’s here to visit Mom too?”

Ichigo turned back ahead, to see- Rukia?

She waved back at him.

Karin squinted at her, “Hm . . she looks familiar.” – even as Yuzu looked at him – “Do you know her, Ichigo?”

He flailed for a moment, trying to think of what to say that wouldn’t be suspicious, “She’s a classmate! You’ve seen her in the afternoons!”

Yuzu nodded along, but Karin gave him a look that said she knew there was more to that. He winced, and nodded, not going to lie to her about this if she remembered that night enough to _recognize_ Rukia. She deserved to know.

Karin narrowed her eyes, looking between them, but she didn’t say anything about it before she was grabbing Yuzu’s hand and continuing on, “We’re going on ahead.”

Rukia approached as he watched them go on, the Devil Cat walking with them, snickering when he looked back, humming a little tune that made Rukia go bright red.

He blinked, because he recognized that tune too?

(He’d used to hum it whenever Rukia was with that red-haired boy at the Academy, laughing as they both turned the shade of the boy’s hair.

It was teasing, grade-school style.)

Then she’d looked suspiciously after the cat, because that was something more than the odd ability of the cat to talk, or the keen intelligence it showed. She could figure that out another time though.

(_Yoruichi is no threat to us, and won’t be as long as we aren’t a threat to her._)

“What are you doing here?”

She blinked, like it should have been obvious why, “I thought I should be nearby if a hollow attacked.”

His eye twitched. He tried to keep his calm, “But you didn’t have to- couldn’t you have been a little sneakier?!”

Rukia shrugged, arms crossed, “Sorry. Didn’t think about that.”

He flailed wordless for a moment, because normally not being seen was not a good excuse for being so blatant – either blend in better or keep out of sight. Or just, _not_ _be_ _suspicious_.

“You do know that Karin recognizes you, right?! Tatsuki too?! She remembers a suspicious midget hanging around Orihime’s home during the night!”

Her eyes narrowed at the ‘midget’ part, before she winced, “I’m sure I used kioku-chikan for them.” Which just made him wince, because he didn’t think the memory replacement had worked right once.

“Uh, not sure it worked at all for them. Tatsuki asked me about it the day after. I’m pretty sure Karin remembers, but she was doing her best to not acknowledge it this whole time. I’m honestly not sure about Yuzu or Inoue but I think Goat Face remembers that night too. Chad definitely remembers the Gates of Hell.”

She gave him a judge-y look.

“I’ve never had a problem with the kioku-chikan before. Since I’ve met you, Ichigo, _it hasn’t worked once_ on _anyone_ who regularly spends time with you. Your family, friends, _classmates_. Their minds have already accepted what they’ve seen because it _doesn’t stand out to them_ as being outside the norm. That’s the _only_ reason kioku-chikan _doesn’t work!_”

He returned it with an _And? That’s my fault how?_ Look.

Rukia threw her hands up in the air before stomping away after his sisters.

“_You_\- and your- your- _Ichigo-ness! Ugh! What the fuck passes for normal around you!?_”

Ichigo quickly caught up to her, not commenting about her last statement right away.

“That is a question Tatsuki has asked since we were four, and still can’t answer.”


	11. Rukia

After a bit, Ichigo took the lead, winding up the hill in Kitakawase alongside the Karasu river, and it was in companionable silence.

Rukia broke it once they stepped onto the trail leading through shrine markers, “I’m curious.”

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at her, “About what? People walking on the moon?”

She blinked, “They’ve done that?” – and he nodded – “The Americans were the first. Russians were the first into space though.”

He kept walking even as she slowed to think that over, because she’d never thought to think it was possible. She was still mystified and enraptured by how mortals had learned to fly, but _leaving earth_?

How did the kids say it now-days? _Mind. Blown_.

After a few minutes, when it was clear she wasn’t following anymore, Ichigo turned back around, “What was it you were curious about, Rukia?”

She hesitated to ask even as she caught back up, chewing on her lip a little in indecision if she should even ask.

“She was ‘killed’. Right? You said . . your mother was-”

“No, I didn’t.”

When she turned to look at him, he was looking to the side, brow furrowed and a faraway look in his eyes, “Ichigo-”

“Did I say she was killed?”

She frowned, “Who killed her, Ichigo?”

“Just drop it.” He returned the look, lips thinned.

She couldn’t. Not when what he was saying now wasn’t aligning with what he had the night before, and it made her think there was something more to his story than just that she’d been killed.

“You told me you saw spirits from a young age. Could your mother have been killed by a hollow?”

He got in her face, “No! No way!! Not _her_!! Not her too.”

Rukia startled back, surprised at his vehemence, his solid belief – and the quiet grief in those last words. He shook his head as if to clear it, “That’s- no way. Why does everything have to be about hollows with you? Just leave it alone! She wouldn’t have- _didn’t_ die from a _hollow_.”

She didn’t understand his vehemence, why he was so sure that his mother wouldn’t have died from a hollow. But then again, his father was Shiba-taichou, and she imagined that his mother had had the sight too, and the same sort of spirit that would fight hollows for her family. Maybe Ichigo had seen her-

“No way! What’s _she_ doing here?”

She blinked, “Who? Ichig-?”

He ran past her.

“ICHIGO!?”

She chased after him, even if she didn’t see whoever he had, wondering if the woman had run away or-

“Ichigo!”

Or if-

Rukia barely managed to get a hand on Ichigo’s shirt, panting as he slipped to his hands and knees, “Wh- Why’d you run?! What-”

“It wasn’t a hollow that killed my mom. It was- It was me.”

He didn’t lift his gaze from the ground, fists clenching around the grass beneath him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #no official listed location for the cemetery on the map in the Official Character Book #1 (or 2)
> 
> #casual reminder that Soul Society has probably no real concept of how far the Human World's science has evolved #proper airborne flight and space travel #are probably mind-blowing ideas #particularly considering how rarely most shinigami come to the World of the Living
> 
> #welcome to my TED talk #where I take the canon information and make connections that were not explicitly stated in canon #and thus make things sadder when I bring them up


	12. Chapter 12

Rukia was immediately denying that, the moment it left his lips.

“No. You wouldn’t. Not to anyone, and definitely not your _mother_.” He lifted his head at her vehement refusal to accept that, to see her frowning and looking ready to _fight_ anyone who believed such a thing. _Himself_ included.

“How would you _know_? You don’t know me. Didn’t know me six years ago.”

She waved him off, stabbing a finger right in face, “You couldn’t. You were willing to fight Urahara for Kon within a _day_ of knowing him. You didn’t want to kill hollows because you thought they were still _people_. You take care of _people_; You _protect _them. There’s no way you’d have _killed_ her.”

“I didn’t protect _her_.”

“You _tried_; I know _that!_”

He leaned back, searching her face for something, looking for doubt, or bravado, _something_ that said she was just blowing smoke, but he couldn’t find anything. She _believed_ what she was saying.

“Have you _met_ you, Ichigo?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Rukia has lots of Fight-Me! Energy  
#he canonically refuses to kill hollow once he realizes they were people #Rukia has to explain they aren't killing them #they are cleansing them of sins before he would


	13. Chapter 13

_CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP-_

“Hey, it’s time for the annual ‘Kurosaki Family Tombstone Dominoes Tournament’!”

_-CLAPCLAPCLAP-_

“A full two and a half hours of tombstone dominoes and embarrassing family fun!!”

_-CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP-_

“The first match – Ichigo vs. me!!! Losers have to be the winner’s slaves for a week!!”

_CLAPCLAP!!_

Yuzu was trying to get him to stop drawing unnecessary attention down on them, “Please, Dad, stop!!” Karin just looked despairing as she prayed to their mother, like it was a lost cause.

Yuzu turned towards him, “Ichigo, stop him!”

Ichigo looked at his father, roaring to go, then at where Tatsuki was marching forward to slide into the available seat, her eyes glinting, “You owe me a rematch, Goat Face.”

Isshin quickly settled down, only to nearly fall out of his seat when Yuzu narrowed her eyes at him, “If you cheat again, you won’t get dinner tonight!!”

“What!! Daddy didn’t cheat! He just took creative liberties as not explicitly prohibited by the rules!!”

Ichigo gave Tatsuki a thumbs up, “Crush him beneath your heel. We spent four hours going over the rules after we got home last year to close those loopholes.”


	14. Rukia

Rukia was sitting on the brick wall stretching high above the cemetery, looking down on where the Kurosaki family was while keeping a respectful distance.

Yuzu was carrying Kon around while supervising the domino match between Isshin and Tatsuki; Karin still knelt in front of the shrine; the cat was winding himself around Yuzu’s legs and getting periodically fed by a hyper-focused Yuzu.

Ichigo was watching all of this at eye level, before glancing up at her just long enough for her to know he knew she was there. He made a gesture for her to come down there and join them, but she refused.

This was their time to as a family to pay their respects to their missing member; the missing center of the family’s universe. She wouldn’t intrude on them, and instead she’d watch from a distance and keep an eye out for any hollows that might interrupt them.

And dispatch them before Ichigo could notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And (try to) dispatch them before Ichigo could notice.


	15. Tatsuki Interlude

Tatsuki was playing against Isshin, but her attention wasn’t fully on the older man.

It didn’t mean she wasn’t wise to how he tried to swap out one of his pieces for one of the unclaimed, smile sharp as she dropped all of her weight on his toes as a warning. His eyes watered even as she glanced over at Ichigo.

His gaze was unfocused but resolutely on his mother’s headstone.

_Is it true? Can you really see ghosts Ichigo?_

She remembered that day, just a week and six years ago, well.

She remembered his long silence and not meeting her eyes as he denied it.

She’d known it was a lie, but she hadn’t pushed then. She’d let it go, thinking he’d tell her on his own time. A week later though, Masaki was dead and Ichigo was scouring the riverbank looking for her.

She hadn’t asked again, because she didn’t need to, and he’d never lied to her about things like this since.

They’d developed a system that his younger sisters had mimicked; she, who couldn’t really see the dead, didn’t let, them, who couldn’t tell the living from the dead, go to places alone until they could tell them apart. The few failures in following through had resulted in the infamous instances where Ichigo had been possessed until she’d dragged the spirit kicking and screaming out.

Only recently had they loosened up old habits in junior high when the school system fought them being inseparable. By then though, Ichigo was hardly fooled anymore, and the few times he would doubt, Chad was usually right there.

It was different now, with Ichigo being a shinigami, but they’d fallen back into old habit easily. Not just to cover for him though.

She hadn’t forgotten the feel of a variant of _bagh nakh_ on her hands.

In the days since Kon had shown up, Ichigo had confessed what had happened that day six years ago when Masaki died; how he’d been walking with his mother through the rain from the dojo, getting soaked by passing traffic but unwilling to give up his side of the street while wearing his raincoat, about how it had been raining for days so the river was way up and he’d seen a little girl about their age then standing on the riverbank with no umbrella looking like she was deciding whether or not she’d jump in so he’d run to her.

He’d gotten so quiet that she’d thought him done, before he had explained the last things he remembered were: his mother yelling _no_, a woman’s voice whispering in his ears, the heft of a long weapon in his hands, sea salt on his tongue, flashes of blue lightning, a white coat, and waking up with his mother’s body atop of him, pinning him there with blood streaming down around them from a jagged cut across her back and a pair of puncture wounds in her shoulder.

Eventually, Ichigo had explained that he thought that in a moment of desperation, both of them – her when she met Kon, and him six years ago – might have pulled their zanpaku-tō into corporeal form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drum roll*  
Important details released in this chapter!


	16. Chapter 16

Ichigo was drawn from his memories of six years ago by Yuzu starting in on their father about cheating, and how he’d lost his privileges to meat for dinner because he couldn’t play _fair_, not letting the man get a word or whine in edgewise.

He touched the top of her headstone, taking a moment to trace the kanji for their mother’s last name before the Devil Cat was twinning around his feet, staring directly at him.

“You’ve eaten plenty. I’m not feeding you. As it is, you’ve gained a kilo since you’ve started living with us part-time.”

Then the Devil Cat sat directly on his feet, “Such a rude boy you’ve become. I remember when I gained five kilo eating your mother’s cooking and you just happily lugged me around like nothing had changed.” He started kneading through one of his sneakers with sharp claws, so that Ichigo could _feel_ the needle-sharp pinpricks against his toes.

“_Ow_. Watch your claws or I’ll have Yuzu start clipping them. And what’s this about me carrying you around as a kid? I don’t remember this.”

That got him a lazy glare but the cat unhooked his claws, through the shoes’ lifespan had been drastically reduced by the Devil Cat.

“You were a toddler, barely steady on your feet, but you _insisted_ on carrying me around like a security blanket for the longest time. Just as you finally got big enough that I could start lounging around on your shoulders, I left for a bit to go check on something and before I knew it, you’d forgotten all about me in the excitement of meeting that girl over there after I was back.”

Ichigo just stared blankly down at the Devil Cat, as that was over ten years ago and he could be forgiven for not immediately remembering.

There were memories of the Devil Cat though, that he’d previously dismissed because a big black cat wasn’t exactly a very differentiating denominator, and there _may_ have been a year where he thought that the talking animals in cartoons were real and that meant regular animals could talk too so even a talking cat wouldn’t have stuck out much.

Two memories that stood out was a big black cat sliding down off the shoulder of a woman to atop her bust to face-plant in a bowl – not a saucer – of sake, and a big black cat that had been lounging on his mother’s shoulders, fur all puffed up with static, his meow all sarcastic and bitchy.

“That was ten years ago. If you’re that same cat that I can vaguely remember, you were fully grown then, and must be _old_-”

The Devil Cat stretched up and sunk his claws deep in his thigh before sauntering away towards Yuzu and Karin.

“_Ow!_”


	17. Chapter 17

Ichigo took a step towards where Rukia was perched at above them, when Tatsuki joined him. She nudged him with a darting glance further aside that was far subtler than her usual, “Do you know him? He’s been watching all of us a little too closely even for Goat Face’s antics.”

Contrary to belief, he could do _subtle_ and he followed her gaze to where a man with white hair in a similarly colored suit was kneeling down in front of a grave, one hand resting atop of it. Subtle went out the window as he recognized the man from those blurry memories of his mother’s cousin, “He’s a cousin on Mom’s side.” – and he turned to fully face him – “Hey! Come join us and stop lurking!”

The man turned, then leveled a flat look at Goat Face behind him, “Isshin, didn’t you teach your children manners?”

His father rubbed at the back of his head, pausing where he was cleaning up the domino tournament that had prematurely ended thanks to his cheating and Yuzu’s chastisement, “He’s right though. Just join-”

There was an eyebrow twitch then a pen was spinning through the air to nail Goat Face in the face hard enough to snap his head back even as the man smoothly rose up without a sign that he’d thrown the pen.

(**_Nice shot!_**)

Despite his attitude though, he did walk over and joined them.

“That was mean, Ryūken.” Isshin pouted while rubbing at the red spot on his forehead before clutching dramatically at his wife’s headstone, “Masaki, your cousin is bullying me again!”

There was a collective sweat-drop at the _again_ from Ichigo and Tatsuki.

The other man sighed long-suffering, “Act your age and stop impersonating an imbecile.”

Isshin blinked, “I’m not acting?”

For the sake of his sanity, Ichigo walked away, leaving those two to squabble and Ryūken looking a hair’s breadth away from strangling his father. He almost wished him luck in the endeavor; Isshin was a cockroach and likely wouldn’t be defeated by such pedestrian means as mere strangling.


	18. Karin Interlude

Karin awkwardly patted her sister on the back as she cried into Kon’s corduroy fur and sniffled into his fleece.

“C’mon! Don’t cry Yuzu!”

She had to give Kon a bit of credit here as he was _clearly_ uncomfortable, both with a crying girl and being cried on, but he manned up in a way Ichigo sometimes struggled with, and bore with it. Though part of that might have been to do with how they were all pretending to ignore how Kon wasn’t exactly an average stuffed animal; just like the black cat twining around Yuzu’s legs, with a rumbling, throaty purr vibrating his animal chest, wasn’t exactly an average cat, even putting the talking aside.

Yuzu started sniffling more than she was crying.

“You’re getting too big to cry every time we come here! We’re almost eleven now! We’re practically grown-ups!”

Her sister’s eyes were watery and red, cheeks splotchy as she wiped her nose on Kon, who couldn’t disguise his disgusted look despite being fully within her sight, “I know, but . .” The tears ran over and she started crying again, “I miss her!”

Karin’s gaze dropped, was shadowed, as she couldn’t help but think about how much more of their life had been spent grieving their mother than knowing her, and even with Ichigo’s sometimes stories and their dad’s constant talking to a giant poster, she’d started to move on from that grief. She missed her mom still, but it was more distant than it was for either of her siblings; Yuzu because of her big, bleeding heart that cried at the drop of the hat, and Ichigo because he felt guilty for returning this day six years ago, alone.

It still bothered her that Ichigo had never been able to definitively say that she’d passed on, but she tried to pretend she had nothing to do with all that so she didn’t focus on it.

Much. Didn’t focus on it _much_.

It crept up some times, how they didn’t know what had happened to their mom’s soul. More often since she’d had that moment with the boy, Yûichi, whose soul had been stuck in a cockatiel, and finding out about the fate of _his_ mom.

Last night had been one of those moments where it’d lingered in dark corners and quiet moments and she’d struggled to sleep for the longest time at the fact that Ichigo, who’d gotten the lion share of this cursed ability to _see_, didn’t know where their mother’s soul had gone after her body had died.

_Tweeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!_

Karin blinked at the sound of one of the annoying whistles Goat Face had, being blown with maximum effort; the noise drawing her out of her thoughts, “Hm. Oh. Yuzu, c’mon. Goat Boy’s blasting his whistle. We gotta go!”

Luckily, the sound of that blasted whistle seemed to shock Yuzu out of her crying fit, “Huh?”

She took pity on Kon by grabbing the poor stuffed animal before her sister could wipe her nose on him again, though the cat took her open lap to mean that he could stand up on his back legs, nearly head-butting Yuzu in the process, before putting a paw on either cheek, “Squish, squish.”

Her squished cheeks pursued her lips out, before the cat pressed down again, “Squish, squish.”

Yuzu’s giggle was a little watery, but she’d stopped crying completely. Then she was picking the cat up and standing next to her, ready to go back now.

Karin tucked Kon under one arm as she made forward, only to pause at the sight of a girl staring down the cliffside, “What’s she doing over there?”


	19. Yuzu Interlude

Yuzu stopped cuddling the cat in her arms at the sound of Karin’s question, “Hm?” – looking up and seeing nothing where her sister was staring, before squinting and _almost_ seeing _something – _“Wha-”

Her words cut off at the sudden _bad_ feeling, so much like the one that preluded that night nearly two months ago that had resulted in a hole in the wall of their home and for her entire family to come out injured from, even if their wounds had been healed shortly after; it was a feeling that she’d then dismissed as without cause but _couldn’t_ this time. She didn’t know why, didn’t know how, but something _very_ dangerous was nearby and they needed to be gone _yesterday._

She was grabbing Karin’s hand even as His Majesty’s fur puffed up like static had been run through it and he _yowled_, before he was struggling out of her grip and there was a puff of smoke.

Three things happened nearly simultaneously: a blue arrow was slicing through the air and tore through a part of that _almost-seen_ something; from the smoke came the slightly fuzzy shape of a tall, naked, dark-skinned woman with long dark purple hair in a high ponytail and golden eyes who scooped the both of them up under her arms; and another blue arrow was slicing through the remnants of the smoke where the woman had been standing.

Then the woman was _moving_. So fast that everything was blurring together in her sight and Yuzu squeezed her eyes shut before she puked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Yoruichi reveal


	20. Chapter 20

The sound of one of Isshin’s whistles cut through how Tatsuki was trying to explain how she’d almost thrown her last couple of practice matches in preparation for the coming tournament. Partially from how her body had stalled between two different styles of moves that it _knew_, and partially from how she’d pulled a move that was from some sort of cousin martial art that she couldn’t _quite_ place.

(_Probably hakudo. Miyako was very good at it._)

Only seconds later, they both froze at a feeling that had become familiar to both of them over the last two months, even if it was Tatsuki that was able to pinpoint nearly _exactly _where it was coming from and faster, while he just recognized how _close_ it was to Yuzu and Karin.

They rushed forward without a word spoken between them, towards it; neither of them thinking of how _human_ they were as their hands tried to reach out for weapons that didn’t exist in the physical world.

For a moment there was metal in his hand, the roar of the sea in his ears, before it was gone, escaping like water through his fingers.

Rukia sprinted to catch up before shoving something in his hand, then running off ahead, yelling into the distance at an unfamiliar yet _familiar_ woman carrying the twins like bags of rice over her shoulders, “Who the hell are you?!”

(In that moment, looking at her back, he thought he was seeing her in her shihakushou, rain slicking her hair down and she didn’t know he was there, coming up behind her.

That when she did notice, she’d hesitate to draw her blade against him.

A part of him was caught there, trying to bark out _Kuckiki! _to warn her.)


	21. Rukia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #NaNoWriMo 2019

Rukia had shoved her glove into Ichigo’s hand, hoping that if he was going to do something _stupid_ like confront the hollow that had just shown up, that Tatsuki could knock him out of his body with it, before she ran after the unknown woman running away with Ichigo’s sisters.

The unknown woman was moving at a speed just shy of _shunpo_; that only _wasn’t_ because for all that the girls were Shiba in soul, they were still _human_ and going at that level of speed could rattle their brains in their cages badly, and the woman seemed to be not wanting to hurt them.

It was probably ill-advised considering how much reiatsu she had left, to do what she was about to, but just because the woman wasn’t outright hurting the girls didn’t mean she _wouldn’t_ once she had them away from here, and she wouldn’t stand for that when she could still do _something_.

“Binding spell, the first! Sai!!”

For a moment, she thought she’d gotten the woman when her movement paused.

For _just_ a moment, before the woman was almost casually side-stepping the kidō, _evading_ it.

Then she was suddenly in front of her, foot in her face, shoving her back into a tree hard enough to make it crack.

Rukia blinked dazedly, blood dripping down her face from above her hairline, vision black around the edges as pain echoed in her chest from the collision that said she was looking at badly bruised ribs and probably a concussion. The woman was bowed partly over to look her directly in the face, mouth moving but Rukia wasn’t terribly sure she was hearing her right.

It almost sounded like she said, “You’ve spent too much time with Byakuya-bo, Rukia-chan, to attack at the mere sight of me.”

For just a moment, the woman looked a lot like the one who’d given her and Renji passes to enter the Academy after they expressed interest about it.

Then everything went dark, and the thought slipped away.


	22. Chapter 22

Ichigo’s step faltered when Rukia’s reiatsu signature wavered, nearly turning back and leaving towards her.

Tatsuki grabbed his arm before he could do more than pause with his gaze lingering on where Yuzu, Karin, Kon, and Rukia were with that familiar-but-not woman that had thinking _sister’s best friend, Shihoin princess, Devil-cat_ and _their_ Devil Cat.

“They’ll be fine. We need to take care of that hollow.”

Her gaze drifted to the glove clutched tightly in his hand, red leather peeking through his fingers, “Why did she hand you that?”

Ichigo handed it to her, “Put it on, then shove me.”

There was a peculiar look on her face as she eyed the flaming skull, even as she put it on, but she didn’t hesitate to push him back with enough force to send him skidding back into a tree as she caught his body under its arm when it started to fall.

“Aren’t you supposed to hesitate?!”

“Nope.” Then she was laying it against a different tree as he straightened, her gaze drifting with his to where they could sense the hollow chasing Isshin around, “When you talk sometimes, all I hear is ‘I’m a dumbass, Tatsuki, punch me.’ from you. This was very satisfying.”

He scoffed as he picked her up and started running towards where the hollow had met Goat Face and his white-haired friend, moving far faster than her human body could, “I keep waiting for you to punch 1-B’s homeroom teacher considering he thinks you’re a bigger punk than I am.”

She scoffed, but didn’t respond as her hands kept flexing, trying to reach for something.

Her reiatsu sharpened, changed, as they cleared the trees and he let her down.

Ichigo caught sight of Ryūken running around the edge of the graveyard, taking shots with a bow made of a familiar blue light at a massive hollow, silver glinting on his wrist, with Goat Face darting in and out to try and grapple and kick the hollow, trying to hold it in place long enough for the arrows being shot to connect. His attention was pulled away from them though, at the sight of a familiar girl hanging a little bit away, looking a little scorched on their left side.

He hardly noticed when Tatsuki rushed towards the large hollow, metal flashing on her hands that hadn’t been there a moment earlier, his gaze focused on the girl, who was completely unchanged since he’d seen her last, aside from the scorch on her clothes.

“You! That was you by the river that day! Six years ago! What’re you doing _here_? Why are you with a hollow!?”

The girl glanced at him, “Six years? That’s a long time. I don’t remember. But you’ve seen me before?”

Ichigo took a step forward, grip tight around the hilt of his zanpaku-tō even as it remained lowered against the girl, “Yes!! Answer me! Why were you-!?”

“No, Ichigo-! That’s-!!”

“Is that so, Sonny.” The girl gave a wide grin that peeled her lips nearly completely up to her ears in an entirely unnatural fashion, “Incredible. You actually saw me and lived. . . Heh heh . .”

His eyes widened as half of her face began to sag and slip down from the crown of her head, exposing her not-skull with a sickening slurp, “What the-!!?” – half of her face sliding down past her ‘cheekbones’ still holding that unnatural smile – “What are you-?”

“You’re lucky.”

Ichigo could only stare in horror as the body slid off to dangle beneath a fake skeleton with a wiggling worm-like tendril extending out from the skull that came out only to then shot across the clearing towards the large hollow and attached to the top of its skull.

“What-?”

Only Tatsuki’s quick grab of Isshin’s arm to pull him out of the way kept him from being flattened from behind by the fake skeleton as it careened across the clearing, reeled back in close to the hollow by that strange tendril.

“But your luck’s run out, Sonny. You’ve seen me . . twice! I have to eat your soul.”

It lunged at Ichigo even as Ryūken shot at it multiple times, singing the fake skin beneath the skeleton as it twisted and spun behind it like silk cloth, “This ends here, Grand Fisher. You’ll be the one to die.”

Ichigo got his blade up in time to catch the clawed hand that came at him, but his eyes kept flickering between the skeleton and the fake skin, and the tendril connecting them to the hollow, “That girl . . is a part of you? Decoy bait?”

His body moved on reflex, kicking the hollow back as he sliced off the one hand, but it seemed to be hardly bothered by that, “What a day. So many who can see me . . what a feast. I haven’t eaten a Quincy in decades, and the shinigami I had last month was hardly an appetizer.”

Ichigo was white-knuckling his blade, mind hardly on the hollow’s words as he thought back six years prior – “Delicious. Delicious.” – and the girl he’d tried to save in the rain – “What to do? Will you all fit in my belly?”

That he’d fallen for this trap, and that his mom had been-

(**_This fucker-!!_**)

(**She-**)

Black licked at his sclera, consuming it completely in one eye as reiatsu raised off him and flickered on the edge of his blade, then he raised it and leapt after the hollow, “Y**_o_u**-!!!”


	23. Rukia

Belatedly, Rukia would eventually realize that she had only passed out for a moment before she was waking up to being slapped across the face, “Hey! Rukia-chan!”

Her eyes blinked open to Kon squeezing himself between her and the unknown woman, face almost directly even with her unbound cleavage but his gaze was solely on the woman’s golden-amber eyes, arms spread wide as if to protect her from this stranger, “Why did you do that to Rukia-nee-chan!?”

The woman scratched at her cheek with one hand while the other folded under her ample bosom, looking aside, “Oops.”

Rukia knew the very moment that Kon finally noticed what was directly in front of his face as it bounced a bit with the motion, because he fainted right away. She also knew that only the fact that he was in a stuffed animal and thus had no blood, was the only reason why there hadn’t been blood sprayed in the faint.

Absently, she caught him and stuffed him in her backpack as she looked past the woman to see the twins, looking a little green around the gills still, trying to sneak away.

Karin had the gall to salute her and mouth, “We thank you for your sacrifice.”

Only, they weren’t running to where their father had been, they were running to where Ichigo was chasing the hollow.

She shoved herself unsteadily to her feet, clutching her ribs, “Don’t go that way-!!”

The woman scooped her in her arms as she realized the girls were no longer within reach, nearly shoving her face into her breasts in the motion, and chased after the girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Yoruichi will you please stop shoving your chest into people's faces


	24. Chapter 24

Ichigo was beyond angry as he kept running after the hollow, cutting through each attempt to capture him with its shaggy ‘hair’ and the hands trying to slip through behind those attempts, chasing after the soon fleeing hollow with a single-minded reckless abandon.

He didn’t hear Tatsuki yell, “Don’t be reckless, idiot!”

(Not over the part of him howling for blood, to tear this monster to pieces with tooth and claw. Trying to buck him off, and reaching for the reins of control he held.)

His lips peeled back to show off teeth that a part of him thought should be sharper than knives, steps stuttering and faltering, sword swung jerky with two minds.

(**_Let me eat him!! I want to devour him!_**)

He couldn’t get his blade up in time to block the next attack and was swatted to the side, bowling over a couple of trees in the process, “Heh heh . . You’re too young to think you can defeat me, Sonny.”

(The part of him snarling and snapping teeth, struggling against the reins he barely kept ahold of with one hand, and the part of him that stood aside, eyes calculative towards whether he’d stay in control and the hollow he wanted to see dead more than any other, were suddenly pinned beneath a wall of sea water that had risen up from the depths.

A woman screamed in his ear, and he couldn’t understand her but he didn’t need to; the sentiment was engraved on his very _soul_. His mother had recognized that and _named_ him for that.)

He stumbled forward before he got his feet under him, one hand tightening on his blade, black receding from his eyes, “I will protect them-”

The hollow was suddenly there, “Too slow, Sonny.” – knocking him aside – “Trying to protect your friends with skills like yours? What arrogance!”

Ichigo caught himself before he collided with another tree, barely managing to get his blade up in time to catch and knock aside the next hit, then despite knowing that he was outmatched, still threw himself forward at the hollow, “Hey, Sonny, anyone ever tell you you’re a little reckless?”

His eyes widened as almost faster than he could see, the hollow was striking out at him again, and there was hardly enough time for him to change his attack into a defense, “Never throw yourself blindly at your foe!”

His attention wavered as he realized belatedly that he’d been led in the direction of his sisters, sword wobbling in front of him, “Stay focused!” – as its fingers curled around the edges of his blade – “You’ve got no discipline!!”

The hollow’s fingertips ripped open to reveal talons that extended out at him, piercing his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #dissonance between Quincy and Hollow aspects


	25. Chapter 25

“So reckless. . So, so reckless.”

The hollow slowly pulled its talons back slowly, and Ichigo stumbled down to one knee, barely catching himself from falling flat on his face with his blade.

“In a fit of rage, you left your allies, and threw yourself at me blindly. You played right into my talons. And now, you’ll die without even really wounding me.”

It laughed.

Ichigo snarled, and the laugh abruptly cut off at the strange dual quality, its mouth opening around the start of _wha- _but it didn’t have time to finish forming the word, let alone the question, before he was lunging forward, lifting his blade and getting within the hollow’s guard, and cutting into its chest.

“You’re wrong!” It didn’t quite draw blood even as it cut entirely through the layers of hair to leave behind a scored red line, “I’m gonna kill you!! Even if you tear off my arms, blow off my legs, I’m _still_ gonna kill _you!!_”

The hollow didn’t even have the decency to look surprised as the almost-wound was gone within moments as fresh hair grew over and hid the near-cut, and it just laughed, then grinned with too many teeth, “Wake up, Sonny. You’re young. Impetuous. You anger easily.” – the fake skeleton jerking forward to in-between them, fake skin zipping back up over it – “That anger blinds you.” – the hollow’s hand not still dripping with his blood closing over its head – “And dulls your sword.”

The hollow opened its hand to reveal a face he hadn’t seen in six years, “It’s all over, Sonny. You were much too green to challenge me.”

Staring back at him with the gentle smile she’d worn at the end, was his mother.


	26. Rukia

Rukia may have gone after the twins knowing that Ichigo would have wanted that more than to have whatever aid she could offer, even if may have cost him his life, but Rukia wasn’t sure that she could live with herself if he died again because she stayed out of it.

This was the first time since he’d taken over her duties that he was fighting for himself, and she knew that if she helped him here when guilt and vengeance drove him while she had no stake in seeing this hollow dead, that he’d never get over it. He wouldn’t blame her, but what about his honor?

Just like before, if she’d helped him then, maybe his life would have been saved, but his honor would have been forever damaged. She’d listened then to Ukitake-taichou’s words about how of the two kinds of battle, fighting to preserve life or to preserve honor, it was the highest insult to interfere in the latter.

She didn’t _want_ to listen now. She _wanted_ to go in and give everything she had and not see him die again because his pride had meant more to him than his life.

Rukia grit her teeth and clenched her fists as she glared down at the ground and the woman’s feet, “Stay out of it . . stay out of it, Rukia . . Stay out of it. _Ichigo, you better not die_.”


	27. Tatsuki Interlude

Tatsuki hadn’t hesitated to start running after Ichigo when the fool had run off after the hollow.

(It felt like they’d been here before, positions reversed but feelings the same.

It’d been her leading the way, with him following, angry and grieving. They’d both died then.

She wouldn’t let it happen again.)

Still beneath the _bagh nakh_ on one hand was that glove Rukia had given to Ichigo and she’d used to knock him out of his body, and she wondered.

“I don’t think it’d work exactly the same for you, Tatsuki-chan. It’d knock you out of your body but you’re still alive, the chain of fate is still intact and you’d still be just a plus soul. Not a shinigami.” Isshin was running at her heels, not bothered in the slightest at her sprinting with his gaze locked ahead even as he answered her unasked question.

A step behind him was Ryūken, keeping up but doing that same ‘breathing open-mouthed because I want to be panting because I’m not as in-shape as I should be but I’m too proud to admit that until I hyperventilate’ Ishida did in gym whenever Ichigo got a little too close to beating him in the cumulative class rankings and he had to break even with Ichigo in gym to keep the first rank.

If she squinted a little and imagined him with black hair, Ryūken looked a _lot_ like Ishida. Ishida was also going to apparently age really well, if this _was_ his father like she was thinking, unlike Ichigo who had looking like Isshin to look forward to in fifteen, twenty years.

“What about you, Goat Face? You’re not as human as you would claim.”

He glanced at her, before looking back, still holding that serious look that she’d seen him with maybe one hand’s worth in all the time she’d known Ichigo.

(With an additional within-two hands worth for as long as she’d known Kaien.)

He didn’t answer right away, but then his gaze narrowed at a point ahead of them, “Let’s see if I’m still bound to this gigai.”

She nodded, turned, and shoved him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Ryuuken totally tried to retire from the life  
#he didn't keep up training #like he's still a good shot #but he let slide his physical conditioning
> 
> #he has no stamina


	28. Chapter 28

“Heh heh . . You’re surprised. I really don’t remember six years ago, like I told you. But in recreating your mother, I’m starting to remember her. From that expression on your face, I’d say that makes you upset!”

Ichigo just stared for a moment, looking between his faux-mother and the hollow.

“Didn’t you notice? When I attacked you, I only used this hand.” – it raised up the hand spotted with his blood and licked it’s talons clean – “I used _these_ talons to peek into your memory! I probed your mind to find the one thing you can’t hurt.” – before holding up the other – “Then this hand formed that very thing!”

He wasn’t really listening, just staring at his mother, too tall and too broad, gentle smile too full of teeth and eyes dull to be _her_.

“Even the most cold-blooded shinigami and Quincy have a weakness. That’s a given. That’s how I’ve beaten every one of them I’ve faced. And for you, that person is your sweet, dead Mommy!! Isn’t she, Ichigo?”

It was like looking at a distorted funhouse mirror; nothing was _quite_ right.

It didn’t _feel_ like her either, none of her static and light and heat like a lightning bolt made flesh.


	29. Rukia

The woman quickly caught up to the twins, but the girls wouldn’t be deterred.

Karin’s eyes glinted, almost shined, with gold as she stood between them and Yuzu, lip curled back to flash teeth, “Ichigo needs help, and you’re not going to stop us!”

Rukia was starting to really wonder at the Kurosaki kids’ mother because here was the Shiba stubbornness in full affect, but there was something more. Ichigo showed it too when he was angry, and it was like an echo of those farther reaches of the Rukongai.

It was something in their eyes, in how they bared their teeth, how sharp their reiatsu was at their heart. No matter how they acted or how long they’d been in the Seireitei, it never went away and those that knew it could see it in others.

She knew it in the razor edge of Sode no Shirayuki’s ice. Saw it in the sharp scales and razor fangs of Renji’s Zabimaru.

What Ichigo – and Karin – had wasn’t quite an echo though, it was more like it was those from those farther reaches that were the echo.

It showed in how the girl wasn’t standing down even in the face of the two of them.

The woman just looked at the girls, before her gaze focused on a bracelet Yuzu was wearing, “Then I’m not, but you’re not going any closer. Your father will flambé me if you two get hurt, and I do not want to be a roasted cat.” – leaning forward to tap it – “Your mother left you a weapon to protect yourselves, so use it.”

All three of them looked confused at that, and Rukia didn’t know how a bracelet-

Yuzu’s eyes narrowed, glinting with the same sharp edge her sister had in hers, before she closed her fist over the pendant and squeezed her eyes, “Karin, be my eyes.”

Then in a flash of blue-white light, in that hand was a bow just like the one in the Kurosaki home.

Karin blinked, “Wha . .” – before her lips thinned as she looked ahead – “No problem.” Then she was at her sister’s back, hand atop of her sister’s before she was moving their hands, reaching to her back, then notching an arrow made of reiatsu in unison with Yuzu, “Forty meters out, a little over two meters up.”

Rukia could only stare as the arrows went flying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #cat's out of the bag now
> 
> #BAMF Yuzu #BAMF Karin


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Hell Gate cameo
> 
> #this was a very satisfying chapter to write

Ichigo white-knuckled his blade, “You remember her now?”

The hollow laughed at him, “Yeah, she put up quite the fight to protect you. I would have never gone after her on my own like that, though it was so fun watching her face trying to figure out which of you was my lure and which was her son.” – before snarling in remembered anger – “I was led there though, but then the bastard stepped in before I could eat either of your souls, and I had to leave her dying or die myself.”

It lunged forward then, “I’m going to eat you now though-!!”

A blue-white arrow came within a hair’s breadth of taking his head off from behind before punching through the fake face of his mother.

The hollow stumbled back screaming at the ashes of the lure and the scorched limp end of the tendril that had connected it to the main body.

Just as he turned to see where the shot had come from, twin arrows punched through the trees to his right and sunk deep into the body of the hollow.

He could only watch as the Grand Fisher suddenly lay there dying, before he was racing forward, climbing atop of the hollow after shoving his sword deep into one shoulder to keep that arm immobile while putting all of his weight on the other shoulder, before he was shaking the crumbling masked face, “Did you not eat her soul?!!”

The bastard just grinned bloodily before dissolving into tens of butterflies.

As he knelt there on the ground, watching them fly off, the male head from beyond the Hell Gate suddenly broke out from beneath the ground, leaping up and snagging one of the insects between his teeth before falling back through a hole that never was.

He was staring blankly at the ground where Kagu-hana had come and gone from when Tatsuki, his father, then a panting Ryūken ran up.

Ichigo had just noticed the weird bruise-handprint on his chin of his father’s face when Goat Face turned to where his friend was bent over at the waist, breathing heavily, a shit-eating grin on his face, “Just because you have a good metabolism, and eat well, doesn’t mean you’re in shape. I bet your son could out-”

Ryūken – in a move that Ichigo very easily recognized from when Ishida had tried the same during last gym class after he’d come in second – hooked one foot around Isshin’s leg and kicked it out from under him. Isshin fell in a heap, taking Ryūken down with him.

Turning away from where the two of them began to squabble like middle-schoolers, he looked at Tatsuki, tapping his chin, “What happened to him?”

“Other than that he’s a massive idiot who picks fights? Nothing much. He’s just a useless moron.”

Goat Face wailed dramatically while he had Ryūken in a headlock, “Why are all my children so mean to me!?” Then he clutched the man to his chest and went into an alligator roll, “Whhhhyyy dddoooooessssss eeevvveeeerryyonnnneeee bbbbbulllllllyyyy mmeeeeeeeee!!!”

He left the two of them there as he walked with Tatsuki towards where his sisters, Rukia, and the unknown woman was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #let me raise you the question of: what happened to Masaki’s soul [here]???  
#I present to you a possibility of how Masaki might have lost that fight even powered up
> 
> #she has been avenged
> 
> #I’m sorry Isshin you’re still stuck in your gigai
> 
> #being in Isshin’s vicinity lowers everyone’s maturity level to a pair of fourteen year old boys #long exposure is the only way to beat it  
#sayonara to your respectability Ryuuken when Isshin’s around


	31. Karin Interlude

Karin’s vision went a little fuzzy once she’d released that arrow, but Yuzu wobbled and all but fainted, and she couldn’t catch her weight and stay standing so they fell in a heap.

The woman spoke up as ichigo’s friend clutched at her ribs but still tried to see if they were okay, “They’re fine, Rukia-chan. No need to panic. They had enough reiatsu for what they just did, but that was the first time they’d ever tried to use it. I would have lent them some reiatsu if they were lacking.” Then she stood up, leaning over Rukia’s back as she dug around in her bag, “I’ll be back shortly.”

Karin watched as she ran off faster than her eyes could register, before looking at Rukia, “Bind your ribs, you idiot. You need to immobilize them before you puncture a lung if you’re going to insist on moving around.”

The girl flailed around one-handedly, laughing over-the-top, “Ah haha ha . I’m fine! Nothing happened!”

She just stared flatly at the older girl who winced when she tried to be more convincing by using both arms and just hurt herself in the process, “Yeah, you’re definitely one of Ichi-nii’s friends.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

Karin leaned over and caught both of her cheeks between her hands, “Idiot sandwich.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Kon being Kon

Ichigo was nearly blindsided by Kon running to him in his body, tears streaming down his cheeks, “Ichigo, a strange woman plucked my purity like a flower!” – if not for how he reflexively side-stepped – “I saw her glorious nipples!!”

Tatsuki cracked her knuckles, “Time to die.”

He had to tackle her before she curb-stomped his body, “Don’t kill him while he’s in my body!” Barely able to hold her back when he saw that his body was giggling into the grass, blood streaming from his nose like a pervert.

Ichigo stepped aside, “Go ahead. I don’t need a body.”

Kon leapt up and clung to his knees, “No, Ichigo! Save me from the mean nee-san!! I don’t want to die!”

He struggled to kick him off, “Don’t be looking at women’s chests then!”

“They were right in front of my face! What was I supposed to dooooooo!!”

“Look away, dumbass!” He eventually peeled him off, about to evict him.

“She was naked!! I was not prepared!”

A part of him wanted to demand what the fuck he was doing and where he’d been to see a naked woman around here, but he didn’t _really_ want to know; he wanted to continue in blessed ignorance. Ichigo evicted him and pocketed Kon, “Don’t give me a reputation as a pervert!”

Tatsuki gave him a flat look, “That ship has already sailed.”

She ran away laughing as he chased her the rest of the way to his siblings and Rukia, just as it started to rain.


	33. Chapter 33

Somehow, they all ended up going to their various homes without speaking a word about what had happened, after leaving inside Ryūken’s crowded car. The two men were in the front seat arguing over how Isshin shouldn’t expect that he’d always be able to make room in the hospital for his patients at the drop of a coin, Karin half-asleep on Rukia with Yuzu sleepily hugging her back, the devil-cat sprawled over their laps, and Ichigo and Tatsuki wedged into one corner.

Rukia got dragged in so Isshin could bind her ribs, then told to stay the night, while Tatsuki left after a worried text from Orihime. Which left Ichigo to carry the girls in, only-

Ryūken carried Yuzu in without a word, before leaning into the clinic to look directly at Goat Face, but didn’t say anything before he left.

Ichigo watched him leave, confused at the interaction, before Isshin yelled after him, “Bring yourself and your boy around for dinner sometime this week! Call ahead and Yuzu will happily make any requests.”

Then he went to make sure the girls were all tucked in, the devil-cat curled up on the pillow above Yuzu’s head as his sisters clung to each other in sleep.

Ichigo waited until the house was quiet, before he made to leave, but Isshin was waiting just outside the door under an umbrella, staring up into the clouds, “I was wondering where you went off to.” He offered up an umbrella, “Going to go back? Take this!”

“I don’t need it.” Stepping out in the rain because he was still damp from earlier and a little more rain wasn’t going to hurt.

Isshin inched closer with it.

“I’m already drenched, so it doesn’t” – then poking him in the head with it – “matter” – pushing his head further to the side – “whether I have one or not-”

Ichigo yanked it out of his hand and swung at him with it.

Goat Face’s umbrella went spinning out of his hand as he dramatically spun with the hit, and landed right in the street but before either of them could go get it back, a car ran over it.

Ichigo clicked his open, but didn’t look at his father as he held it up in such a way that there was room for Isshin to stand under it with him.

“Time sure flies. She’s been gone for ten years.”

He whipped his head to the side to glare at Isshin, “Six years! It’s been _six_ years!!”

“I was close!”

He yanked the umbrella away, jumping back so he could point it in the older man’s face, “You were off by four years! That’s the difference between a grade schooler and a high schooler!”

Isshin held a hand in front of his mouth, “Ho ho~ . . You’re a smart boy. Daddy’s impressed.”

Ichigo twitched, “Don’t be! Just remember how long it’s been since your wife died! Of all the . . !” – flinging his arms up and almost losing his umbrella in the process and he had to scramble to catch it before it also fell into the street – “Sometimes just talking to annoys the heck out of me!!”

That didn’t incite some laughter like usual, and he looked over to see Isshin just staring out into the rain, “If she sees how well you’re doing, it’ll make her feel good over there. But . .”

“Huh? What?”

For a moment, it hung between them how they weren’t normal, and it almost felt like Isshin was going to tell him something, but the moment passed as he pulled out a pack of smokes and a lighter, lighting one up.

“When did you start smoking?”

He took a long drag, “Sometime after your mother agreed to go out on a date with me and I was getting a medical license. I stopped after she got pregnant with you. She told me that I looked cool when I smoked. You know, that was the only time your mother told me I looked cool.” – blowing it out – “So I decided to have a smoke on this day every year where she could see me when she looked down on us.”

Ichigo didn’t have anything to say to that, not when he had even less of an idea of what had happened to his mother’s soul than he had yesterday.

“Cheer up!!”

Isshin smacked him on the back, startling him out of his thoughts, “Ow!”

“Don’t be such a wet blanket!”

He couldn’t look at him though, “How? How can you joke about it? Why don’t you hold it against me?” – one fist tight at his side and the other making the umbrella handle creak – “I failed to protect her. I couldn’t do a single thing to save her. I couldn’t even avenge her. Why?! Why doesn’t everybody blame me?! It was my fault! I wish you guys would hate me!” – glaring down at the ground with tears in his eyes that streamed down his face with the rain-water from his hair – “Why don’t you!?”

“Why should I blame you?”

Ichigo whipped his head around to look uncomprehendingly at his father, “Huh?”

His father took another drag of his cigarette, “Masaki would be mad at me if I did that. It’s not your fault that she died. I’m proud of her. The woman I loved gave her life trying to protect her child. And don’t forget” – before reaching over and running a hand through his hair – “that child was you.”

“Dad . .”

The moment was over when he was kneed in the side, and the umbrella went flying from his slack grip, “You lucky punk!!”

“Ow!!”

Isshin put the cigarette out facing away from him, “Life a good life, Ichigo. Go bald, and die after I do. And if you can, die laughing. If you don’t, I won’t be able to face her.” – before opening the door to go back in – “So stop sulking. You’re not old enough for the cool, tortured look.”

Before he could leave, Ichigo spoke up, unable to let this remain unspoken too even if they never really talked about the fact Isshin was a shinigami, “Her soul wasn’t eaten, Dad. I remember that now, that bastard may have killed her but he left before she was dead.”

Isshin paused in the doorway, “No? Maybe I can meet her again then.” Then closed the door behind him without turning around to look at his son.


End file.
